So guilty.

I don't know. I just feel so guilty for trying to quit pumping for the babe (see this post here to see what I'm talking about). I know that's totally ridiculous. I only started the process on Wednesday... and my supply is already going down. 

There's the guilt that I know I could keep pumping for so much longer. I could keep pumping for a whole other year I'm sure. BUT, it's my sanity. I need to stop. I'm attached to that darn machine. EVERY time I pump I hate it. Ugh. But, just the fact that I have the ability and supply to keep my baby fed on breastmilk... makes it hard. I know formula is totally fine for her... it's just ALL this darn guilt. I'm NOT giving up though. I will continue as planned. I hope to be done by her birthday (2 weeks away). Anyway. That's all.

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No more pumping.

I'm done breastfeeding. Well, not so much breastfeeding. I'm done pumping! You may have read my bit of whining here on this post here: to pump or not to pump... but, if you haven't: Ruari never breastfed. I felt guilty and have been pumping for close to a year now.

Yesterday I decided it's time to stop. I will begin the process of stopping my supply. I can only imagine it will be pretty darn uncomfortable... if I'm even a little late for one of my scheduled pumps: ouch! SOooooo... here goes! I guess I'll just try to pump a little less each time... then knock off one of my pumps. It will take a few weeks.

I know I will be SO SO much happier. I just need to put the guilt behind me. She's eating more "real" food and formula's not bad. No longer will I have to say, "Oh, yeah! I'll be head right over... oh wait... I have to go home and pump first!" ... "No, I can't stay past 9. I have to go home and pump." Blah blah blah. It will be lovely.

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